I am afraid that I will have no life for the next 6 weeks (besides for colorado!) I am going to be "working" well it's for class really, nights on the weekends! Yuck!!!

Well I survived the operating room, and as far as I know so did the patients! :) I also survived without fainting (which I hear isn't that uncommon, even with med. students). Anyway, I saw a couple cool things, one was a prostatectomy. I was a little bummed because that was th e surgery I got stuck with, (there was 2 other nursing students that also went to the OR) and I was stuck with what they didn't pick. But all went well, the surgery was surpisingly a lot more indepth that I had thought. Oh and let me tell you fat revealed is really gross looking. So they cut this patient open, and it was interesting to watch the resident's work on the patient, and after the pt was all opened up the main surgeon came in. I was suprised at how they would laugh and talk pretty much through the whole thing. Although there was one time when it was pretty silent, I suppose it was a more intese time of the surgery. So nothing really that significant there. The main purpose was to watch the nurses and see what their job entailed, which was interesting. I don't think it would be my first choice job as a nurse, but I would definatly do it if I went to a country where they really needed a scrub nurse. There are two different roles for a nurse in an operating room, the circulationg nurse which kinda does odd and ends, and pretty much gets whatever the other scrub nursese or physican needs. There entails a lot of counting of idems (pretty much to make sure they don't leave anything in the patient!) and a lot of keeping a sterile field. I found there was a lot of watching, which to me was a little on the boring side. I didn't really know that much of the history of the patient, or really what their plan was anatomically, but I'd glad for the experience.
The second surgery I went to had started at the same time as the first one. It was a little more time consuming, although it started out laproscopic. I'm gonna leave the details to myself, but it was rather interesting. When I walked in the room was pretty dark and it seemed everyone was watching computer monitors that had the images from where the intruments are in the patient. (Laproscopic surgery is where they just put a few small insicions into the patient and use a tool that has a camera to see where they are in the patient. A few good things is that the patient will loose less blood and the image is maginfied so the physician might even see better that they would be able to had they opened the patient up). Everything went well until right before I was going to leave they hit an artery. As soon as they saw that blood coming they had to open the patient up. (so they changed from laproscopic to a normal incision, within probably 1 min. They cut the pt open and that was it-you would not believe how fast these people move when under pressure! Of course, I would hope they would move that fast also if I was under the knife!). Another team was called in to repair the vessel that had been ruptured. It was exciting none the less! There was 14 people in the room at one point, and by the time I left the vascular team had left and they were going to closing up the incision. Totally interesting to see the Dr's work together and to see them work so quickly after that blood started flowing.

At the moment I don't feel like writing anymore, maybe I'll write more on the subject later. But a good time none the less, ask me about it if you want! :)

Oh and one more intersting thing, how the Dr. blocked the bleeding was through holding it with his finger! He held the spot until the vasuclar team came in! Interesting huh!!

Operating Room tomorrow! Yikes! That's kinda exciting and kinda scary! I did not realize that I signed up for that until today. (it's through my clinical group, and instead of going to the hematology oncology floor at UIHC I will go to the OR). Last week I went to the clinical cancer center at the hospital, which was a good experience. Probably not something I wouldn't want to do right off, because it's more patient teaching than hands on work. But none the less something to think about when I'm older. I worked with a lymphoma specialist physician and a really wonderful nurse. She knew a ton about everything and showed me all kinds of things at the at office. One of my favorite things that I got to see was a CT scan, which is pretty neat because it's really an interactive picture to see. You scroll through it and see different organs from all types of dimensions, and it's projected on a huge computer screen. I even got to watch a physician question a "fellow" which I am told is a Dr who's about to start working on their own but has to serve a few years with other experienced physicians. Everyone calls them "fellows" which was a point of confusion in my mind for quite some time. I might add there were more "fellow" gals than "fellow" men. I talked to one for a while and she was saying that so many people say how they were expecting their Dr to be a man, and when she was pregnant one man said "it just seems that my dr. shouldn't get pregnant?" What do you say to that one? um ok.

Well I'm off, maybe tomorrow I'll have some crazy story of the first full body transplant! :) Ha! But really I think it would be sweet to see maybe a brain surgery, or heart surgery.

22 days in Europe! I bought my tickets hours ago and I can't wait! For those of your who do not know, I am going to travel with Alex through some places in Spain, Germany, France and hopefully Italy. We will be spending some time in Germany with my dear friend Kelly & at that time will be her husband (although it's official now, long story) for about a week or so. We hope to get some hiking in with Daniel and Kelly though the mountains as he is quite the mountain man! :) I can't wait!

I talk to Alex quite frequently and he is having a lot of fun in Spain. This weekend he is traveling and last weekend he traveled also. If your interested in his travels, let me know and I'll hook you up with his blog address.

That's all, back to homework!

A mini break....

One more test down (pharmacology), now only one quiz to go and one presentation and then the WEEKEND! :) I had a lovely Valentines day dinner with my good friend Alli, which consisted of Prime Rib & fondue! it was rather exciting, and all provided by Hillcrest dining services! :)

Alright, well I'm off to do something.....

Ok so I know I don't want to always be looking forward to something and missing the moment of today, but this weekend I go home to see my family, the following weekend I'm going to be going home because I'll be staying witih Jonny, Alex's little brother when his parents are gone, and then I have one weekend here in IC and the next Weekend-WEEK in COLORADO! I'm SO PUMPED!! (I talked to em last night and that got me thinking about it a little more.) AND my ticket was free! Thanks to delaying my flight home last spring break, United Airlines has been good to me!

Busy, Busy...just waiting for the time when break can come!
So it's been just about 4 weeks since school has started, and now it feels like it's really in full blast. Last week I had 3 tests, and this next week I have 1 test and a huge paper "grand round" for my clinical group. I will then have to present the paper to my core clinical group this friday. Luckly, I am almost done with the writing of it, next I'll work on the powerpoint!

On the upside I get a little break from the work of my normal clinical day and the prep work, and I get to check out the outpatient cancer center at the hospital. That'll be interesting. A different aspect of the disease process for sure. Most people who have cancer are in fact at their homes and coming in to centers like this on for treatment. Anyway, another aspect of caring for people.

After talking to em for a few minutes tonight I can't wait to go to colorado in just 4 weeks! Skiing and hanging out with Em and Josh (her husband) will be WONDERFUL! I can't wait! Em said they haven't had this good of snow in the mountain in years and that many people are traveling from europe to check out the slopes! :) It will also be fun to see her parents again, they were such a part of my high school life, and growing up, it's sad I don't get to see them much anymore. Love that Worhley family. I will never forget when Em's dad would make her brothers run laps around the rest stop whenever they misbehaved! How sweet is that, I think I'll do that if I have a kids of my own. :)

I'm checking out at new church tomorrow, this is exciting. I miss a smaller church atmosphere and connection, I was way pumped when Jess called me to see if I wanted to go with her. :)

I'll be back in the QC this upcoming weekend.....
take care

This is a picture of a dinner Alex and I made for his family, it was super yummy. I could go for that again right about now. :) 

A picture from Christmas break, Alex and I when we went with his family to Wisconsin. This is acutally a mud lake. It took a little hike to get there, but it wasn't too bad. What a cute guy, I must say I'm quite a lucky girl!

Weird occurance happened today. I got up with a slight headache, not problem I mean it happens. Anyway I went right to my computer, well first because I was hoping to get an email from alex telling me how to fix somthing on my computer, so anyway I get up and try to read my emails and I couldn't read them! Ok it's quite strange I will try explain. But I would look at the words and I couldn't understand what they meant. It was like saw the word, but I couldn't put meaning to it! After realizing I must have something a little off, I decided to try and wake up a little more before "reading" any further. Now when I first had this problem I could see the word fine and some I could understand what they meant, but I could not figure out the words as fast as normal and I couldn't put a whole sentence together. I don't really know what this means, maybe I was just too tired, but I've never had that happen ever before. The only thing I can think of was that maybe I had a migrane while I was sleeping last night, although I normally wake up and realize it, and then this morning was just the ending of that headache. Because when I have a migrane headache I have a hard time reading, but that is more just the actually focusing on a word that I can't normally do. So anyway, a weird occurance worth documenting :) Now that you think I'm surely crazy. that's it, off to studying.

Change of heart

That's what this semester is for me, a lot of changing. Supposively this is the hardest semester in the whole nursing program, and anxiety of all my classmates is high. I made a decision this semester to relax a little about the whole school thing. Oh I'll study and work hard, but the whole bit of anxiety that I tended to have all of my other semesters is going to go down. It's something to decide every day, but with effort I plan to do a little more fun activities here at school and a little less worring about getting an A rather than an A-. If getting that A is the difference between sanity and enjoying life, I'll chose the later and just deal with the minimal amount of effect that will have on my life. Which really, I don't plan on going to graduate school so as long as I become an effective nurse, what is a few more points less on a GPA. No one really cares later on what that wonderful GPA was anyway, so I guess I'm trying to change and realize a little wisdom of good old Soloman. After his pursuits of finding fulfillment in worldly things he came to realize it was all meaningless. None of his fulfullment could be found in this world, but only in the Lord. This semster I plan to put into pratice the fact that I know GRADES ARE NOT EVERYTHING. May the Lord guide me because this is a change from that past semesters.

Went to the hospital today, it went well for the most part. It got me thinking about life and such, and I must say I feel a little down today. I'm not sure if I love what I'm going to become, or if I hate it. Most the times I am so interested in the disease process and interventions that can help people, but when you get right down to it, it's just really hard. Not in the scholarly way, oh sure it's hard like any other major, but it hurts to think of the pt's. For instance on pt had a better chance of winning the lottery that having a type of cancer. I didn't even know that a person could have cancer in that spot, but yes. Oh and the pt wasn't your typical pt, I can't really say why( due to legal reasons), but it was a lot harder to see this person that the average cancer pt.

Maybe there is something to be said about seeing the dying process, not by any means are all these people dying, but there is a better chance of them dying before you and me. Thinking about death makes one think about what really matters in life, or at least does for me. I try to see each pt as the person they are outside the hospital, and that is hard. When you know you have a grandpa who's waiting to go home to his wiferof 4o some years(hypothetical of course), or a kid who's clearly too young to be going down this pathway, or even a 20 something pt who just months ago was dreaming of finishing college, finding a job, or even getting married. I guess the key is that we are never guarenteed lifee, just blessed with it. So that's all folks. I'll try not to be so depressing next time.