Random fact from my Pharmocology book: Did you know that .02 percent of surgeries done with neuromuscluar blockers end up with a patient completely paralyzed during the surgery but yet fully awake because of inadequate anesthesia? It does not require much imagination to appreciate the horror of the surgical patient. Yikes!

Anyway, school is on the way and tonight there was a VICTORY in Herkey's Legion Womens soccer team 1. Yep that was my team! :) It ended in a tie after the 2 twenty minute halfs, and then victory came at the shoot out. (Did I mention those are no fun at all in indoor, it's pratically impossible to guess where the person will shoot with harldy any reaction time. Although I survived this one.) Afterwards, I was feeling well and ready to submerge into pharm. Which leads me to this moment, the moment before I get some sleep. I really didn't feel like sleeping much, so I thought I'd update.

I am now doing a clinical rotation in the UIHC. I'm working on the hematology/oncology floor. So far I've been there 1 full day, day 2 is Wed. The lady who teaches my group is notoriously know for expecting a lot from her students. The convo usually goes like this "Oh my first clinical was so much fun, I learned a lot and it was hard, but good. Who do you have for your clinical instructor?" "Such and Such" "OH.. really. ...(pause to think of what to say in the midst of this clearly against all encouragment information) She's tough." But I had a teacher like her for rhetoric, I wanted to cry and many times did after I got that teachers paper assignements. But with the help of a friend for support and some ideas on the papers (plus a whole lot of her proof reading all my papers) I got through. And, as much pain as that class gave me, I learned a lot and so I hear from the few people who did read my papers, my writing skill improved. (Although don't expect much on here, this is quick writing with no proof reading.)

Alex is in SPAIN!! Wow, kinda crazy. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions....
But he is alive and well, and enjoying Caceres. (There should be an accent over the a.)
He has found many Christian friends, and has a friendly host mother. He says he really sticks out there, being a blonde, having a beard, and wearing glasses. Ha, sounds kinds fun! Also...I am blessed to have found a rate on calling that can not be beat....(or so I think thus far) 5 cents a min, and that includes calling a cell phone in Spain. And, Alex gets free incoming calls! Great deal, and that's all from the comfort of my dorm room.

My dad came up today to watch the soccer game. What can I say he's my super fan. :) Can't keep the guy away from soccer, and I didn't even have to ask. When I meantioned the game, he wanted to come! : ) What a supportive dad!

My mom is still in Arizona, visiting my grandma and sister. She's been there for almost 2 weeks. She deserves a break, I am glad she could go....wish I could go with. There is something about Arizona that I just love. I've grown up going on vacations there, I'm not sure if it's the wonderful smelling air, fresh grapefruit & oranges that can be picked daily, or the driving a golf card around town, that I like the best. I've always loved to visit my grandma. This will be the first year in a long time that i won't. Last year and the year before last, Alex and I went to AZ. Well that' s all
Goodnight.

Peace in the midst of tears is how it's been tonight. It's a strange feeling, knowing that life is gonna be different in many ways this semester. But it'll be alright. I feel like God has much to teach me, and probably a lot more than I can for see. Although I know it'll be hard, I'm excited for growth. Tired of this same old, same old kinda faith. When does Christ become just a savior? I fear that I too often forget all that life it meant to be and what our purpose it. Although I will not pretend to know it all, I forget the basics...ever feel that way?

In some ways I wish I could wish away months of hardness, not only in missing Alex but in classes. But I don't feel that is any way to live, life is meant to be loved to be cherished. Think of all the people who wish they could have a few extra days to cherish.

I'm a little nervous with working on the hematology/oncology floor this semester. Truly one of my greatest fears is cancer. I don't know why but I'm interested in it, at the same time I'm totally fearful. I don't suppose that it's all that healthy either. Does God want me to be fearful? I think not. I suppose if something is to happen to my body, it'll be and fear won't stop it.

I'm sick of mountain top experiences. I'm not talking about great times with God, because that is kinda what many christians would think about when I use that phrase, but I guess I mean it to be the moments that I look forward to. Now that also sounds strange. But I find that there might be sometime had by cherishing the day and letting those great moments of pure joy/fun come along as time allows, but not to live for those moments. So for a while, I will try to discipline myself to live for that day...keep me accountable ok. I'm not living for July, I'm living for today! :)

Alright, this seems to be enough for right now. I'm gonna read a little more on pain management and then hit the hay. Goodnight all. I just might update this a little more often, but not promises.